Dirty Words: A Poem by Amanda Lundstedt

Dirty words

Slut. When that word was heavy under your breath and I was a girl you’d only just met. Onto which you could project your fantasies and let… them just be fantasies.
When we were both in that bed but I was yours instead.
You had my sexuality redefine the personality you were yet to know. And I was a person no more. Simply your whore.

Whore. When I enjoyed myself a little too much. With a few too many. When my nature was such.
Such that it would clot my veins with mud.
Forever paint my sheets in my lost virginity’s blood.
And fill me with confrontational shame every time I dared to feel good. I would also feel pain.
And the day that my orgasm bonded with my shame I became a victim of my own pleasure.
A slave by any measure.
Simply a slut.

Slut. That is now my role when I take off my clothes.
You called me that. You put that on me.
But I wish to take that off as well.
So I won’t answer to you or the words that you use to describe me.
The voice that you wish to deny me I reclaim. And for that…
Simply a bitch.

Bitch. When I decline your advances or decide that I’d rather go home. Then what was all of this for if not for me to be yours for the night. Why even talk to me then, right?
It’s not as if I am a person beyond what you want between my legs.
And maybe I’ll try to explain that I believe there is more to a man and a woman but all you can see when you see me is sex.
And in your eyes the interest might die as I go on a rant about equal rights and respect. Crazy feminist, you bet!

Feminist. Out of all the dirty words you wish to call me there is but one to which I’ll answer.

Yours sincerely,
Simply a feminist

Amanda Lundstedt is a singer/songwriter that goes by the artist name Ayelle.

She’s half Iranian, grew up in Sweden, lived in Spain for a while and eventually landed in London. Passionate about music, feminism and activism among many other things. She’s the Co-founder of ‘Young Feminists London’, a group for young people to get together and explore feminism. You can follow YFL on Twitter here @YoungFemLondon

This article is a guest post and as such it represents the views of the author and not necessarily those of the Feminist Library. Cheers!